Remembering Grandma

Aprils are always a hard month for me just because it is the month that my grandmother left us. 

It's hard going through life the same way without that someone who you've known for so long.

It's been 6 years now but I never really gotten used to it honestly.

I remember all the little/big things she used to do for me.

Picking me up from school,

making me PJs(saving them for my future kids),

cooking my favourite foods,

laughing together watching HK dramas,

late night conversations before bed,

calling me out when I was acting like a spoilt ass bitch.

These are the moments that shaped me into the person I am today, which I wish she could see.

I wish that I appreciated her more, or at least been vocal about it.

I wish I spoiled her more, because she deserved it.

I wish that she didn't have to go through so much pain in her life.

I wish that she is still alive.

It hurts knowing I will never got to see her expression of the day when I left for America, or the future milestones like graduation, engagement, marriage, etc.

It's a constant spiral of sadness not being able to share these special moments with her.

Bit by bit, memories of her will escape me, 

like how she sounds when she laughs,

how she yells at me when I am being disrespectful,

how she would curse playing mahjong.

I try so hard to prevent it but it is inevitable.

I realized that I've never truly known my grandma, 

there's so much about her past that we never discussed about, 

and now it is lost forever.

I will never know what made her into this incredibly selfless person that 
I will adore and miss for the rest of my life.

Blessing in Disguise

A lady inspired me to blog today. She’s my landlord.

Let’s wind back to the moment I left my family & besties.

Honestly, I left all my sadness at KLIA. After saying goodbye and going in to the terminal it felt so liberating.

A sense of relief and freedom rushed over me. And I just got more excited as the time passed. Even until now I am so grateful for being here and living my dream.

Classes were a struggle at first. Being alone in a foreign country isn’t easy, but it was what I wanted – a challenge. And I am proud to say that I have made it.

I have made a group of friends who have my back and found people in my neighborhood who would do anything for me.

But of course there were rough patches such as yesterday, I was told that I had to move out. It’s definitely the last thing I need having 2 midterms the next day but I had no choice.

The story summarized : I did not know I was not suppose to tell people that I lived there, because they (my housemates) were making money off my rent without informing the landlord. One day I forgot my key so I was locked outside the house. My neighbor saw me and offered me to go in (IT WAS COLD). We talked and stuff and I told them what I didn’t know was a secret. Truth got out and the landlord wanted to raise the rent. My housemates asked me to bare the cost and I was like NO so I moved out the very next day (which is today)

How did I find a place so fast you may ask?

All thanks to this popo that I have morning conversations with before I walked to class. I remembered she asked me to help her to look for people to rent her place. *LIGHT BULB* I asked her if she could rent it to me instead and she said yes!

Guess what, I’m paying the same price for the whole floor instead of just a room at my previous place. The popo is too kind I can’t even.

She helped me with my move, cooked for me, clean up the unit with me while entertaining me on stories of her fruitful and interesting life.

She’s so inspiring. She a 87 y/o lady that lives alone! Every day she carries bags and bags of recyclables on her back all the way home. Including glass bottles! I saw the amount of it she had in her basement and my jaw just dropped.

She is so adorable and she couldn’t stop smiling at how proud she was for collecting it all.

She sells it and makes tons of profit. Imma learn from her too.

Since I got here, people are nice, but I missed the closeness of a family’s care and attention.

This popo showed me nothing but love and hospitality. :’) It being the month of my grandma’s death anniversary just hit all the soft spots in my heart for this popo.

I feel like my grandma is here with me somehow, taking care of me while I’m halfway across my home; through this popo.

I just teared when this popo prepared dinner and brought it down for me. She gave me my favorite soup that my grandma used to make for me.

It's been 5 years since I saw her, I miss my grandma so so much but I know that she will never leave me completely.

I made it, or did I?

After all the trouble, I finally got my visa in time for my expected flight on the same day which was on the 26th Jan, night.

Excited and relieved, did final packing... Few hours before my flight my agent called and said that all flights to JFK are cancelled because of the blizzard warning that came out. WTF?! like WTF?!?! Seriously this is insanity.. how can all these misfortune happen to poor us (me and jamie)?

Keeping an optimistic mind I kept telling myself and Jamie, nahh don't worry, we won't be that unlucky, I'm sure everything will clear up later. As the time gets closer and closer, my optimism slowly faded into nothingness hahah.

We decided to find an alternative route and we managed to get a flight to Washington D.C. with MH. We booked this flight literally 3 hours before the scheduled time. As the agent sent us our itinerary... Jamie realized that the final destination written was TEXAS. I seriously could have fainted.

We called back the agent and informed her about the mistake.. It was still possible to change but the fact that the price difference was about 3k. OMG thanks to her this happened. In the end we had to change airlines which was not in out alliance.

Reached the airport and everything went smoothly.. until.. damn Korean Airlines said that our baggage was overweight. We had overlooked the fact that we weren't able to carry that much luggage!! Because initially, I was suppose to fly with Marco Polo club airline which could allow it all! FML.

After must hustle, we managed to pack everything evenly and all was well. Reached Washington and decided to take a bus from the airport to  New York.

Apparently, all buses to New York were on halt because of the blizzard. Roads were covered. We had the option of taking the train but the price difference was way too much. It was $200 for train and only $15 for bus. And traveling time is exactly the same.. ALSO on the train we couldn't bring out luggages.

I wouldn't even go through all these if I didn't have to report at school on the 27th. Luckily when we reached Washington, we got news that all schools were closed as well.

So we didn't actually have to get to New York straight away, but that would be IDEAL because of our luggage and so much sorting to do as classes start the next day.

In the end we decided to take the bus early next day. So we had to drag 5 huge luggage around Washington and to our hotel. I guess there was a silver lining to it as we got to visit Obama at the White house. :)

Got to New York the next day and went to school to sign in and other stuff.

Skipped Wednesday's and Thursday's class because Jamie was leaving on Saturday :(

Went sight-seeing around NYC. I must say this city really impresses me with it's beauty.

Jamie left and my heart broke. Feels quite lonely but bearable...

Then comes today, Monday, where I will attend my 1st day of class (only one class today)

Got up early, had breakfast, it was pouring rain and I didn't have an umbrella. Took the public transport to the city. Half way through, the train had a technical problem which delayed the journey for about 45 mins. It was certain that I would be late for my class already. When suddenly, announcement said that the trains stopped working totally.. I'm not even kidding. I'm all out of words right now...

The universe is trying to tell me something hahaha.. But I will not give in to it. In the end I missed my class already so I came back home.

Productivity today = 0

Well, tomorrow is a new day! And I am hopeful that tomorrow will be beautiful and gracious :) <3

BLESSED!

So today was a really good day. From the whole month of sleepless nights and FINALLY a silver lining! Let me break down what has happened since December (month of emotional roller coaster)

On the 13th of December - I got my acceptance letter from CUNY but was still on probation until I too my CAT which is a math and English proficiency test. But yea means that they accepted me basically. And I also filled up a Provisional respond which meant that I will be entering for Spring 2015 semester.

17th of December - We gathered and sent in all supporting documents such as financial documents, passport photocopy, etc. For them to verify that I indeed had enough funds to go over to the states for the first year.

18th of December - Booked my flight because I HAD TO. It was not advisable by my agent but I went ahead and booked it anyway for the 16th of Jan. Because I was going to get a redemption flight and I mean, these things go quick!

30th of December - They finally acknowledged my documents and said they were being verified. AFTER 15 days of waiting!!!!!! Which is crazy given that my orientation and test was supposed to be on the 12 and 13th. We asked if we could get a later date for my test because I had already bought a later date ticket, but no reply was given.

2nd of January - My agent got word that I will not be able to take a later date for my exam. I am required and MUST be in New York for both my orientation and test. So I then shifted my flight up to the 9th of January which was really lucky of me to have a spot. Which after, I had to shift again to the 11th which caused me about 125USD because my dad was busy on that day and he was really upset that he wont be able to send me off. Like OMG my life

6th of January - Panic was kicking in as I still had no I-20, no visa appointment date, and my flight is due in 3 days. Basically we know that we won't make it anymore. That night itself, they sent me an email asking for documents that someone had already acknowledged!!!!!! We called the whole night up to a few days later. We finally got through and realized they had messed up on their part. Miscommunication between departments. By this time everything was screwed up already.

9th of January - We thought everything was fine by now after clarifying, when suddenly, CUNY emailed me saying they reject my whole application because I didn't show enough financial for 3 years of education. WTF?! They only required 1st year proof! That's what all Uni's do!!! AND I WAS SUPER UPSET AT THIS POINT. My agent was calm and quickly banged out an email showing more financial documents that proven I had enough for 3 years. Replied and continued to call them whole night. Every night was a sleepless nights as their working hours are 10:15am to 7am. Thanks to my agent she did the calling and I got to sleep with one eye open.

11th of January - We changed my flight again to the 20th of Jan which cost me another 120USD. sigh... This was a really hard time for me like seriously. I had booked tours and stuff in the US which some had already gone to waste. About rm3k had been wasted on this chaos. We were still calling every night whey they finally said that OK I can go in. But WAIT, the problem would be that I had already missed my test. So they had to do a "next possible date" for me. And if the testing department rejects, then there is nothing that I can do. So everyday we called the them asking what the testing department says. All we got was WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

17th of January - They evaluated me and I didn't even have to take the test!!! and also they sent me my I-20 soft copy!!!! WTF!!! Why didn't they evaluate me earlier?! Load of crap let me tell you. Was super happy that finally, with my I-20 soft copy I could schedule my visa appointment. BUT WAIT another catch... the actual document could only be sent to me on the 20th of jan, which meant that I would only get it fastest by the 23rd of jan and that was a Friday. If I schedule my interview on friday, I must get my passport on Monday in order to make it in time for my "check-in" date at the uni. Which was the 27th of jan! SO COMPLICATED!!! PHEW...

19th of January - My agent took the risk and booked my appointment on Friday(which is today as I am writing this) when I checked online on Fedex that even with their Priority service, we would only get it earliest on friday evening. My agent told me that all we could do now was hope, and if you are fated to go or not...

20th of January - They sent out my I-20. Sent me my tracking number.

22nd of January - that night, the status of the parcel was departed Anchorage, USA. Which had left me hopeless. How was I going to get my parcel by my interview friday morning?! I know that the documents were gonna be arriving on Friday(today). So my agent had a plan. She would go and get the documents once they open in Shah Alam at 8am. While I just had to wait nearby the embassy. It was a total risk because 1st - I would be missing my interview slot and 2nd - the last interview slot is at 10:30am 3rd - there's no guarantee that they would let me do it even at 10:30am.

23rd of January(TODAY!) - Time for the execution of the plan. Everything went as planned just that... I waited for my agent until 1130am. Like no joke. I sat by Menara See Hoy Chan literally since 8am till 11:30am and I just did not even know what I was doing there at one point. All my agent said was Wait and Hope. Which was basically what I did the whole of this time. She arrived at 11:30am passed me my I-20 all the way from shah alam and told me to beg them. beg and beg. I went to the embassy counter and that's what I did. I explained to them the whole situation and the girl insisted that I was too late. Which I knew that I was. 1 hour late! I couldn't do anything but continue begging her... finally she called the embassy inside and THEY ALLOWED ME IN!!!!!!!!! Like omg I was so speechless and thankful beyond words! There were even tears in my eyes!!! Save the details of what happened inside but I got my visa approved.


This whole experience had really caused me so much suffering and stress, but the happiness I feel right now is indescribable. I feel that in the end it all worked out. Seriously, whatever happens, happens for a reason. Don't look at the messed up bits, but remember that what happened to me lead to this result. Which is all I've ever wanted. Tears in my eyes as I am writing this. Though it is not the end. I must get my passport on Monday in order to fly. hahaha. But still, I'll take it.

Thanks for everyone's prayers.

xx

Messy

Sometimes things go wrong for a reason.

At this point in my life. Everything is uncertain and messed up. What was suppose to me a magical and high time of my life but no.

My uni application to the states has gone wrong. As for my status now is still uncertain, when my semester starts in 2 weeks! It's CRAZY!

Every day i try to think positively, working the law of attraction... But nothing seems to be going right. One problem after another. It's really emotionally stressing on me.

I hope everything works out for the best in the end....... Good thoughts good thoughts good thoughts!

xx

It's been LOOOOOOONG

Sorry for the lack of updates!!! I have been swamped with work work work! In the recent months I was taking on 2 jobs. I don't know what came over me but yea. Just felt so sick of being.... FREE.

Next day itself (after my realization), I went to Strangers at 47 to ask about their vacancy, and they hired me! They are a lovely new cafe that I see so much potential in. Their business is really growing as time goes on. I am so happy for them! (More on them in the next post)

I started working there in September 2014 then after a few months... I decided to look for an internship just to fill up my time to the fullest. I found the perfect one which allowed me to work at the cafe as well! It was working at Lussonet! Lussonet is an online reseller selling branded goods.

On the days I work at the cafe, which is Monday Wednesday and Friday, I will work from 8:30am till 5pm at the office and 5.30 till 12am at the cafe. As for the other 2 days, I would work till whatever time to make up for the days that I left early.

My life went crazy for awhile trying to adjust to not only my sleeping time but also the fact that I couldn't take naps! NOOOOOOOOO nightmare am I right?! But after awhile it felt like such a breeze.

Okay, talking about working life in a actual office. Well, It is not really a proper office that Lussonet had. First impression of the place had already left me speechless. The office only consisted of 2 staff. Yes 2. Okay so including me there was 3. There's a full timer(does every thing under the sun), an intern(just joined), and me an INTERN that JUST JOINED TOO. Now I understand why they interviewed people at Starbucks........ lol not funny.

 The bosses' office.

At first I couldn't believe I was stuck here - a mess of a place, for 3 months! But after getting to know them I actually kinda enjoyed working there although the workload at the start was MADNESS. I didn't even have time to go to the TOILET sometimes! It was hella stressful. Things got better as time went on. I grew to enjoy the company of the other 2 staff.

Until... one of the intern wanted to leave and I felt like I got slapped in the face hhhahahha that was funny. Not only would I feel so alone now, but my work load was DOUBLED!!!! I just blank stared at him as all these realizations came in and I went like NOOOOOOO you can't quit?! O.M.G. but he did anyway hahahaha. And I was in hell for a few days but then again, after I adjusted and managed my time even better, I realized that there was nothing to it.

That's the 3 of us! The next day, there was only 2 :(. As I write this now, I have already completed my internship only last week. Working at this place has thought me so much. Good and Bad.

We had to work under very unprofessional bosses that honestly, I just have no respect for them at all. I mean, who talks bad about their staff with other staff behind their backs? And at the interview they said they wanted to AVOID workplace politics when they themselves are causing it. Joke of the year. Working there at Lussonet, I felt like I was back in high school. But luckily, I never wanted to be popular, so I didn't have to please the popular, mean kids. I stayed true to myself and when they asked me stuff about other staff, I would just answer very generally.


Lessons of the day for Lussonet:

If you want your staff to come in on-time every single day, then come on time every single day!

If you want to know things about other staff, ask them... DIRECTLY!

If you said something, keep to your word.

If you want something, stop dropping hints and ask.

If you don't know something, don't act like you know everything and just ask.

If you don't understand the problem, don't start shouting and screaming.

If you invite people to the office, INFORM US, instead of making us look like fools.

If you ask people to keep reminding you on something, and when they do, don't keep calling them parrot. It's rude and childish and just makes you look bad.



There's just so much more wrong than right with this company. But of course, I wouldn't say that I am perfect, I too made so many mistakes. But then again, I am only an intern, I get paid only RM800 a month. If they expect perfection from me, they should hire a Full-Timer.

Interns are there to learn. Learning includes making mistakes! Hello, did nobody tell you that? But no, whenever I make mistakes they would cut my pay. That's how they are... I never mind at first. because I felt like I was wrong and I did the mistake. But the fact that they never appreciate my efforts but punish me for my mistakes just makes it intolerable.

Working here has gotten me a thicker skin and bigger courage to stand up for myself. I for that I am thankful that I work there. And also for the amazing friends that I have made! Yep, that's all.

Towards the end they had 2 new staff that came in. Just wish them all the best there hahahaha... My colleagues there were a joy to work with, and I honestly wish them the best in their future. They made my time working there, worth it and BEARABLE! Phew..... On to a new chapter of my life...

More soon! xx

Pisa & Florence!

Late start today because we had the worst sleep ever at the worst hotel. Gladly left the place although I wanted to explore Venice a little more. 

Only had like half a day there :(. I miss the Squid Ink Pasta and Gelato the most!!!!

Upon leaving, I saw a field of dandelions!!! So I picked one excitedly and asked Jamie to record as I blow the petals off to create the most magical video.

Just watch the video and you would know how it went down. Hahahahaha! It surely was magical in a surprising way. 

Walked back to the car on the mainland of Venice and made our way to Pisa!

So excited to be heading there because of all the photos and movies that I've seen since young. Makes you dream of going there. I also wanted to see for myself exactly how much it leaned to the size. So amusing!

Because we got to travel around in a rented car, we got to stop at autogate -R&R which we call it in Malaysia, to see how is it like inside and to have our breakfast!

Their system in Europe is to always pay for food first at another counter before you go to the food section to collect it. For us tourists it is quite troublesome because we don't know what they serve. So we actually have to make two trips to see and walk back to the counter to order. 

Also the names are all in french/italian which makes it so hard to remember the name!!! I don't even know if we ordered the correct food most of the time. Hahahaha! Had to keep repeating our pronunciation of the word in our heads over and over again.

Peppa Pig is everywhere in Autogate.

They have 2 levels to their Autogates and downstairs were ALL THE JUNK FOOD! It was like stepping into holy land. My eyes beamed and I bought some snacks.

After that we were back on the road to Pisa!

A cute road sign <3

Reached Pisa and the sun was BLAZING HOT HOT HOT! Bad day to wear a sweater but it was the only set of clothes that I had that was clean!

Armpits were sweating bad. Hahahaha.

Can't believe I can't to see the sexy Leaning Tower of Pisa with my very own eyes. So many people were there taking typical poses.

We lean on each other.

I believe I can blow the Leaning Tower straight!

It really is slanted!! (just like my fonts)

After spending some time there, we left and drove to Florence. Nothing much here. Just went to visit Uffizi and got our faces drawn.

Worst ice cream ever. BITTER IT WAS!

Do NOT be fooled by his look. Sigh what a waste of our 20euros on this lousy caricature like OMG. Does not resemble us AT. ALL. I doubt he even drew those sketches there. 

He just caused so much disappointed in me with his big talk. SIGH. *picture at the bottom*

Too adorb!

How sweet are they...

After walking around Florence a little while (and having worst ice cream ever). We decided to leave for the outlet shopping malls at the country side of Florence. My goodness the view was amazing and there were not much cars on the road.

Such a therapeutic journey which I enjoyed wholeheartedly! One of my favourite moments.

The place was so nice but didn't manage to get a picture. Had a very chilling vibe to it. I think it's called The Mall if I'm not mistaken.

After had we had our early dinner at Gucci Cafe! How cool is that! We don't have it in Malaysia so I was super fascinated by it. So we gave it a try.

Nothing to shout about. But I love their wall decor which is a sketch of all their bags and they even have details of every bag which was so cool!

I'm so fancy, but you already know.

Yep that right there was the sketch. I could just BAWL looking at it. Why isn't it torn up already. 

One more funny thing about Italy. They tend to use this word major frequently : Prego.

It's like, when I enter a shop... PREGO!
When I block someone.......... PREGO!
When I say grazi.......... ....... PREGO!
When I say Bonjourno........... PREGO!
Whatever I say............. Yup, PREGO!

Like, what is the English equivalent to this word!!! I NEEDZ TO KNOOO!

PREGO!!!